Anne's Second Trip to London
My first visit was so successful that I wanted to go back as soon as possible. Opportunity came much quicker than I expected and I found myself planning a second trip within a few weeks of the first. Now that I knew a little of what to expect I was determined to be more adventurous and try to get closer to my true self, if that was possible. For a first trip out it is important not to draw any more attention to yourself than necessary so the way I was dressed on my first trip was sober and smart but not really 'me'. Drawing attention to oneself was something that I would have to cope with since being 6ft 2ins without shoes and 17 stone could not be hidden.
After much thinking I decided that what I would like to do was:
- Explore my 'real self' as far as possible. I had long realised that my real self was a lot more in your face than the way I had been on my first trip, but was prepared to suffer the consequences of the added attention.
- Make the trip last 2 days. My first thoughts were to stay dressed for two days, which would have meant coming and going to my hotel in role. However, in the time available, I could not find a hotel with which I was comfortable, so resorted to getting changed at the end of day 1. All the hotels recommended by A& E were either full or only had expensive options available. I saw that A& E were having a Christmas Party with a trip to Transmission afterwards so thought that this would be excellent for the second day
- Go by myself into the West End and some of the shops including travelling by bus and tube.
Day 1
I arrived at A&E at about 1.00pm, having been to my hotel registered and left some belongings. This time I came with all my own clothes and accessories which I had assembled over several weeks (That is a story in it's own right). On entering A& E I was so glad to see Teresa, but my nerves were on edge with what was ahead. I needed a little Dutch courage, which I thought might be the case so had come prepared with a bottle of wine. This helped a lot. I got dressed and had my makeup done by Teresa, whom I think had some reservations about my look - too saucy! Skirt too short and white knickers not a good idea. However, I knew best - I have a thing about white underwear. My plan for day 2 involved an even shorter skirt and after I got home I could see what she meant about the knickers, out of 73 photos that I had in my camera, my knickers were on display in 9 and I didn't and don't care. What do you think? Not that I am showing you the worse.
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A coat, gloves and scarf completed the look. Maureen (not dressed) also a customer of A&E had dropped in and agreed to come with me for some of the way to the West End. In my haste to get going I forgot to take my camera so sorry folks no photos of me about London on Day 1, although this would have been difficult by myself.
I was much more relaxed than on my first visit and it helped having Maureen along (thanks M). We caught the number 8 bus. I had come prepared with a travelcard for bus and tube. M left me with good wishes at Liverpool Street Station and I continued for the first time in London on my own - scary! I got off near Oxford circus and walked down Oxford Street past Debenhams. I was determined to go into one of the shops but was far more aware of other people than I had been when with Teresa. The bright lights of the stores were not welcoming. I summoned up the courage and went into Selfridges, but felt uncomfortable and could not stay long. I felt, probably quite wrongly, that every eye in the place was looking at me, and made my way back out to Oxford Street. I was still uncomfortable but trying to make the most of the experience since this was what I had come for. I decided even though my feet were killing me to carry on walking and went on past Marble Arch where it was quieter and more comfortable for me. I ended up at Lancaster Gate Tube. I got my travelcard out but could not find the slot to put it into to open the barrier. I had to give a rather pleading look to the attendant who showed me what to do and I was away down in the lift and on the train. I found that it helped my heart rate if I just closed my eyes for a bit. I got off at Liverpool Street Station. On the concourse a few lads passed a few loud comments about me but I ignored them and they were soon left behind. I went out to Bishopsgate to make my way to the number 8 stop and was confronted by some bloke talking about me on his mobile. He was making a bit of a scene and was annoying me. I did not respond, ignored him and walked past but kept my eye just in case things got out of hand. He was soon left behind and I caught the bus back to the welcoming sight of A&E.
I had achieved my objectives but also explored the limits of what I could enjoy. My conclusion is that for me it is much better to go out with someone. You are then distracted from other people, who also seem to notice you less. Although very hard I was pleased that I had done it. I would recommend that unless you are very convincing go out with someone. The difference is incredible.
I got changed and went back to my hotel for a meal and a rest, looking forward to the following day.
Day 2
I arrived at A&E about 10.00am. I was nice and early so that there was plenty of time to get dressed and have makeup applied before the party started at 12.00. Since the day was entirely going to be spent in great company and not in any threatening places one could go to town on one's look. Getting ready is a major part of the enjoyment and should not be rushed.
Having the girls of A&E attend to you is fabulous. Here I am with Lisa, Josie and Teresa. Aren't they fabulous?
Other guests arrived, some already in role, and the party got going. Here I am with some of the guests. It was great chatting to like minded people.
And then all of us together
The party was only half the day. Some guests left having come for just the party and others arrived for the evening. There was opportunity to adjust outfits, reapply makeup etc - Josie tied my hair to one side which I liked. We were soon off in a cab to 'Transmission'. I did not know a great deal about what was to come, having never been into a TV/TS club/bar before. From talking to other guests I think that next time if I can I would want to go to A&E's club 'Tootsies' - it was getting a good name.
We arrived at Transmission to find the place throbbing. It was great being out without having to worry in the slightest other than how I looked etc. We found some seats and got some drinks and generally chatted and admired the scene. As you can see below, Teresa and Lisa were determined to make sure I enjoyed myself.
I lost track of time completely. At some point we went upstairs to the dance floor. Shoes came off and away we were. I did not stop till closing time.
Fabulous time!!!!!
We got kicked out at closing time. I think about 3.00am and into a taxi, bit of a
squeeze in the back.
Back at A&E time to wind down with some entertainment from the girls - fabulous singing.
Before getting changed and saying farewells and off in a taxi back to the hotel for a few hours rest before the journey home.
Thoughts on the Visit
I certainly achieved what I wanted to do. The most important aspect for me was exploring parts of my self I knew little about. What I found was fantastic. If anyone out there has worries about dressing, going out etc then go to A&E and explore these feelings in a safe and enjoyable way. Don't miss opportunities to do this - you will regret it later. I wish I had found this out years ago.
As for the future - I really don't know. I want to continue to do what I have found, but the other side of my life is something I do not wish to sacrifice so I am going to have to wait for what maybe a long time for another opportunity. One thing is certain, when opportunity comes I know now how to get the most out of.
Thanks to all of you that I met on my visits I would love to meet up again but this is not practical at this time.
Thank you Adam&Eve for what you helped me achieve. And good luck for the future.
I love you all. Till the next time XXXX
Anne
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